It will be over soon

Let time heals everything.
Bits and pieces of things seemed to be coming into
the r/s.
I know my emotions made him feel sad & affected, but i cant
help it to feel sad for my friend tt was hurt. I understand tt it's a 2person
thing and situation right nw is tt my bf's friend wont wanna see me and it's vice versa, but these made meetups for me and my bf in future harder and tt makes me sad.
I know my bf made a pt to make it up to me n made a pt to meet me tmr, but im jux afraid tt halfway thru if i dunnoe where to go, probably he will join his friends again. I understand my bf enjoys playing dota n hangin out wif his friends, so i think i cant be selfish and stop wad he enjoys doing. Jux hopes that the unnecessary weirdness will be gone soon...

I've been thinkin abt my future, worried abt my future.
Wad should i continue to wrk as? should i go take a diploma in makeup?
Will i be able to support a house with my own financial status?
Does he know that i need him to wrk hard wif me? Am i selfish to be asking for wad ive ask? **********

But for now i guess, jux take a step at the time, cos god has already planned our lives. Do whatever u feel like for tt moment for nw, cos u know that at tt moment tt's wad u felt like doing.

-nazuki-

Tomodachi

My babe has been feeling very down, probably all she need is
a lil mre time, a lil more space, a lil mre strength.
I always believe god is fair, when he takes away smth frm u,
he might give u smth in return and as time goes by u realise
wad u have gone thru has mould u into wad u are tdy.
Babe, all i hope for is for u to feel better and i know Mr. right
jux isnt here yet. Mayb some ppl wouldnt know hw much pain u are gg
thru, but i can feel it. I want u to smile at the memories that the r/s has brought
u and learning to let go makes u stronger, u will nv know hw strong u can be
until u try. I know u can do it, we'll always be there for u, cos we know deep
inside of u is smth beautiful. =)

Handle wif care

A r/s probably is one of the hardest thing to juggle
in life. Learn to handle it with care, cos they are like
fragile glasses; If it ever break, after the pieces are fixed together,
the evidence of the glass being broken before will stay there forever.

I just hope things get better each day and thr r/s's foundation will get stronger.
No one says it's easy to manitain a stable r/s, so stay strong. I believe that no matter wad happened or hw angry or frustrated u get in an argument wif someone u love, give him/her some
cool off time and space for each other, so that during these period, cool ur heads and u'll realise jux hw much u have loved him/her.

I am someone who doesnt pt out the gd things my partner has done nw and then, but that doesnt mean i have forget everything he had done. Small things frm him askin "eh why u emo?" makes me think he cares abt hw i feel and wanna know wad's goin on, hunting down a particular flavour chips for me, walking from parklane to wisma to pick me up frm wrk.. etc
Little things adds up to making big differnces. Love is...
When u dont mind doing a lil mre for him,
When u reshuffle time out jux for him,
When u care abt his feelings,
abt being able to trust him,
being faithful to each other,
learning to forgive of u cant forget..


It's crazy that no matter hw much i see him, i still missed him fcuking much!
But i'll learnt to nt over do the meetups to have space for myself and leave some space where he can breath i woudlnt wanna see him feelin breathless in this r/s either.
=)
love is jux so damn fcuking crazy!

-nazuki-

Love is so hard to describe..
It's realli weird that no matter wad shit happened,
u still find urself knowing hw much he meant to u,
and hw much u loved him.

I believe one day i will see rainbow after rain,
and see ourself smiling at each other again.
Mayb nt anytime soon, but one day..

yea, probably bad day for both me and him.
*sigh~~~ hai hai
But probably i have always been draggy in wad i wanna say.
I jux hope one day we'll smile again seeing that we have
gone thru so much things together and still sticking together.
walking hand in hand.

It's not easy for a guy to be able to understand me.
I can become very unreasonable and selfish when i start to think
he might be cheating on me and stuffs. "Sorry" jux doesnt change
wad happened that day. And i didnt even give him time to explain
and cut him off. Trust was smth i lack of, but im learning to trust,
probably too late but i'll still give my best shot.
I see him as my boyfriend criteria, i love him and he loves me back.
Those " qi hua" in the conver, left us with burning wounds in the heart.



Jux realise that the wrd " sorry " is a very sad wrd that doesnt put
sadness to an ending.
Probably someday someone might come up with a better word with a mre sincere
meaning.

Very very sian.
Things jux wont be the same anymre. Probably, mayb, if,,,,

If we hold on,
we'll see that rainbow together.
But that is when u still wanna hold my hand and
nt getting tired of me.

-nazuki-

Action speaks louder than wrds

For me i realli believe that action speaks louder than wrk.
My in charge was very angry with me some days ago when i failed to
open shop on time, and i didnt inform her earlier on. And i felt like
lost her trust in me.

So i followed accoridng that i sign in 15mins earlier tt day, and tdy she talked to me.
And i felt like she was like my ex in charge who taught me a lot. Probably she felt me trying hard to make it up to her, and she explained herself for her being so strict. Anyway action speaks louder than wrds!!! cos for once i felt like she understand that i am sincere =)and probably she understand hw much i need this jov for a living.

Hmmmmm, anyway yr by yr, i felt time passing by faster or is it when u hit 20
u felt like time passed even faster? Well i realli have no idea. Im like 21 in 6 mths time, and i realli realli hope i could move on to another stage in life.
And if u dun know wad i am talking abt i am talkin abt getting married, having a stable income and utimately a home- a place to feel safe to live in. But too soon to talk abt anything cos our r/s is like nearly 2 mths old. LOL but i am like thinking SOOOOO far!!!! *laughs


And yea tomorrow is my off day!!!
yays but like gt nth to do~~~ !!! *sigh
sg is a fcuking damn boring place!!
probably time to wrk hard and go taiwan wif my babe again!!!!
like hw we went there last yr!

Tdy was jux another wrkin day, and yea i meet my bf like for 15min or so and
i left for hm wasnt feelin very well either and he wanted to acc his friends.
But yea gd to be @ hm!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ate maggi mee!! the curry noodles damn nice!!

My wishlist
- new bag
- wrk harder for higher position
- plan financially for my future
- travel to japan
- new pair of slippers
- new pair of contact lens
- new hopes!!!

LMAO
im for sure a damn greedy girl!!!!!

-nazuki-

Different

Difference can be beautiful like hw ur partner is different
from u, and hw he made u smile even thou there's a difference btn both of u.
If u realli treaure it and wanna make it wrk, u will wrk it out eventually.

I aint a perfect girl and i make a lot of mistakes in love, in life, in wrk.
I used to nt learn frm my mistake.
If ever i quarrel wif in a r/s in the past i probably said those "qi hua" and the conversation
would end up with him hanging up on me, and me crying very hard and depressed.
I dunnoe if talkin would help, but im trying it nw. I try my best to put anger and ego aside by askin wad happened and even dun mind to apologise first. I jux hoped my msg could be conveyed to that some1 really impt to me. And probably i admit im bd at sensitivity towards my partner, mayb he has a hard time gg thru everything and he is nt saying anything. But for now, i will ask till i get to know wad exactly he feels and understand him inside out. I wouldnt blame him if he hurts me, cos i've hurt him as much. I have move out frm depression and im nt gonna fall in deep again =) So i wanna feel like changing the way things wrk it abt having mre conversations. I am very forgetful of wad i've said or things that are said to me. Probably making it hard for my bf to understand me. But im sure if he loves me as much as i do, he will find his way to bring me to another stage in life. I hope his heart finds me soon.
I realli fell in love with him, i hope he will nv give up on me like he said.

Love is...
feeling hurt
feeling happy
feeling selfish
feeling loved
feeling confused
feeling happiness

Love is like hw i loved him and him loving me.

Probably in life,
the most successful thing i could do is to wrk.
To wrk non-stop everyday.
Probably ppl like me would know wad i am talkin abt.

I tried so hard to make it wrk, it's jux i wondered wad
happened again?
Probably wad i can do is to earn a stable income every month,
groom myself wif whatever shit i need.

Probably i would be a successful makeup artist or a store manger
working fucking hard for money.
Probably tt's all i know wad to do.
No matter hw much i try it seems like nth could have wrk.

-nazuki-

*sigh~
It's sad that thru arguements we finally find out,
what was :
- misunderstood
- taken granted for
- the most impt pts of gettin a balanced r/s
- broken (as in promise) in the r/s

But my friend told me this, take all the sad part in life as
beautiful things and u will feel better. Cos sad things are
part of a beautiful life that makes wad u will be in the future.
I agree with her saying.

Humans in nature is very forgetful, i forget for a moment but i wont forget
forever cos for me u are always impt, at least for now.
I have to say i broke promises and absolutely gt no rights to say anything.
I always remember this now, no matter hw angry i am, i wont forget who matters to me the most. My love, my friends will always be in my heart always.

Im trying as hard to make the r/s, trying to be mre open and less petty
to nt impt stuffs, im bitting my teeth and holding on, pls rem it takes 2 to wrk out.
I dont wanna do it alone, I need u.

If I reach out my hand,
hold on tight.
If I ever cry,
dry my tears.
If I feel sad and helpess,
give me a hug.
If I look sad,
jux give me ur sweetest smile and u will
see me smiling.

But ever if u need anything,
even in the middle of the night,
I want u to know that i dont mind
to rush over to give u that smile,or a warm hug or
even a passionate kiss.
I will b there for u whenever i can,

Thou love causes heartaches, it makes me feel i
lived for smth.


-nazuki-

Is a r/s really hard to maintain?

I have to say it's pretty hard
becos human nature is 80% selfish.
most of the times we think of the situation as we are the victims
and forget hw our partner sacrifice for us.

I haven been in a r/s for abt a yr plus.
27.05.09, my new r/s starts wif a happy jabroni=)
Even thou nw a lot of factors affects the r/s, i still love him a lot.
I used to be very lose on controllin my partner(or as in ppl i go out wif)
after my last r/s.
Cos i hate the feeling of heartache and quarrels that lead on to nth
but mre misunderstanding and tears.
Recently due to the new time for my new job, things start to get a lil
hard and friction is btn both of us. Cos my wrk time affects me thus
indirectly affects him.
I know it wont be easy, but i hope things will get a lil mre better
as time goes.
I hope he didnt get the wrong msg of wad i told him.

My bf jux needs to be some1 who has a stable career(nt as in he have to earn 3k/4k per mth) but enuff jux for himself cos i am financial stable for myself.
Ppl who knows me probably rmbr me sayin i wan a 180 bf, cute, handsome and etc.
But i think jeremy is gd enuff, he has nice smile, cute face, nt 180(but to me it's a comfortable ht.), listens when i talk and would nv pick a fight wif me and most of the time he is very sensitive.

If he is nt ard i probably would miss him doing some weird noises wif his voice,
hugging me tight when he is fast asleep and he would nv fail to say i love you too
if he heard me saying i love u, asked me if i was bored when he is playing dota. Wad mre should i ask for ? for having such a gd bf.
I hope he dont get the wrong idea *sigh~
It's just so hard to convey a msg to some1 u really love.
It's so freakin hard man!!
and this time i really fall deep. Deep down!
I jux hope that he still know that i love him,
and i hope he loves me jux as much as i do.

-loves, nazuki-