Nightmare, my fear

My best friends will noe wad im talkin abt.
i has a nightmare last night.
Of my ex bf.. Like coming back for mre..
Mre wad?
sex? definitely no!
wad would it be then?


I was wif him for 4rs or so~
until the day we broke up.
Im sad to say he didnt change one little bit.
all of the time, wad ive begged him to stop doing.
he could still do it.
so do it with his new gf.
I have had enough...
becos i know i deserved better.

Gambling kills.
there was once...
I remembered clearly.
i earn 1.3 a mth tt time
after CPF 1.1 u noe hw hard i have to wrk to get OTs.
hw much mre hrs?
he jux take a few hundreds frm me every mth to pay his debt.
and i have to keep a secret for him. frm his sis, frm my family.
once he took 500 frm me.
then 50 again for drinking..
until the end of the wk
when i had onli left wif $5 for a wk,
i cried realli hard...
For tt wk i went hm for dinner, and didnt eat much at wrk,
except for those my in charge bought in the store.
I wake up shivering 6am for 3wks.
I grew realli skinny..(cos at tt moment i knew he had smth wif his ex gf, skinny and tall girl, and i was rather fat then)
i find myself gd for nth..
i dun dare to ask money frm my mom.
cos i wrked becos i dun wanna take a single cent frm them.
i wanna be independent.
So when we broke off, we quarrelled realli badly.
and of cos nt for one reason.
i was disappointed in him cos he let her in.
After we broke up he asked for another 500.
I was freakin sad, i finally understans wad was I to him.
A walkin atm machine.
*smiles

After this I learnt my lesson..
I learn it the hard way.
My heart realli cracked.
so deep till nw i rem hw pain was it.
Love can be promised ppl,
so if ever some1 change his/her love for u.
let it be.
But if he cheats on u heart,
rem nv to let him cheat on ur cash.
becos once it goes..
it will nv be back.
he will onli see u die and nv turn to look at u.
to lend u a helpin hand.

-nazuki-